Don't think for somebody else....

Don't think for somebody else... let them just do what they want to do...

saying this because i just finished talking to her.

Funny that u start thinking for somebody and you know that is good for her, but it ended up in pain. Yup, thats right, u start thinking for someone when inturn she starts thinking for herself...
Now looking at whatever fucking logic in the world... who would u think knows better. ofcourse, stupid ass me... she knows better for herself than i do. so why bother?

Love that is... thats the reason for bothering to think for somebody else. but that love wont be seen right away. coz when someone is in a bad mood or thinking in a different direction, she will never understand you. she will only think about what u said in the manner of how she wants things to be done on her way. its really just being in someone else's shoes. but that's so hard to do... since u have to experience the things before u can use the word experienced.

I guess thats why a lot of families a lot of couples a lot of whatever's have spoiled wives, husbands, kids and stuff... somehow we are not powerful enough to comprehend what people's needs are. and i don't care what some harvard, MIT or whatever doctor says about it... its just plain difficult because of the word experience.

The question now is still Do u care to think for someone else... or just leave them be. if i let her be, she could end up being a brat and be spoiled and not understand and take the life that she has now. the place she is in... the place we will be in for good. for life. she will start thinking about home were she was born and me as home in her life. she misses the place and since she plans to come home in 6 months... well thats really a short span of time for a person to stay in a place and get the vibes right. now say she comes home for a month coming from 6 months in NZ... its really scary for a person to go back to the place she is in now coz she came home and she feels everything is normal... back to normal that is... for a month or so. when she goes back... she carries that fresh sensation and happiness of home back to NZ. and being in NZ for 6 months... i don't think NZ would be a match for Manila. As i think about it, she will be begging to come back, coz lets face the truth, nothing compares to home, specially if u have been to a new place only for 6 months. and obviously people would compare the pro's and con's of a certain country. so naturally manila would be the choice, even if its damn hard here... but she wont be living in the streets and in the railway... she will still have a home a job better than the damn povirish 80 percent of this so called country. so life is pretty similar to what she has in NZ, atleast the basics.

Having said all of these shit... what should i do? just let her be... let her be spoiled from what she is thriving to survive emotionally? lets take a look at the risks... when she goes back to NZ from a month's vacation here after leaving for 6 months... she takes back all the memories of manila, all the good things in manila, all the people she loves here in manila, and start to compare to all the stuff in NZ, naturally its fresh... experience is fresh therefore its not matured yet. so she starts to live the life in NZ while her soul is in Manila... for a guy who loves her, is this right? can i bear the pain of taking a look at her, knowing she is suffering that pain. for me i don't think i can. i have already experience such an ordeal with my brother in america, and it took him 3 years to 4 to be living ang loving america and living like an american. but those 4 years was hell for him and as well for me. we both miss each other coz basically he's like a best bud roomate playmate bro of mine. good thing though is we never wanted him to comeback to manila coz he will loose his papers. and good thing is he fought it well. now he can't wait for me to go there. but thats not the case. im off to NZ. soon after all the dust here clears out. or rather after i clean out all the dust.

so again we are still here... do i spoil her and just let her be, let her do what she wants? come home to manila? will that make the pain and sorrow worse or will it be a relief? thats something i dont really know...

bottom line here is... i pushed what i think would help her and she took it the wrong way... she thought i didn't want to see her or be with her. and all this overseas gap is not helping one bit. making it worse coz through typing online we loose a lot of vital information transimitted by our voice tones and body language... Damn im really in a pickle here...